'Brucha sheastani'

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Since childhood, I have been bullied for being different. As I was born to a Jewish father and a Christian mother, Christianity did not accept me as a Christian and in Judaism did not accept me as a Jew. This casted an identity shadow on my life, filled with doubts and questions.
For many years I hid the fact that I wasn’t a Jew but a Gentile ( “Goy” as the Jew’s calls).
I was ashamed of my accent, I was ashamed that friends would come to my home and see Maria’s picture on the wall, and most of all I was afraid to be asked if I was Jewish. As a teenager, the crisis became bigger the more the issue of relationships became more relevant.
The question of whether to convert to Judaism was constantly in my thoughts and disrupted my sleep.
When I investigated conversion in depth I realized that I could not cooperate with the patriarchal, patrons and the racists customs that are a standard in the Halacha in general and in the process of conversion in particular. I realized that I want to stay who I am and that the people around me will be the ones who have to bend.

The final project 'Brucha sheastani' is a cry pointed to the ears of all those who mocked me and wanted to bend me to their rules. This cry is not only in my name, but also for those who have been repressed through a long history of masculine control mechanisms, that used religion and it’s ceremonies to suppress women to their own needs and purposes. Lost in translation is the fact that I address the one who blessed me as a female.
My project will be a collection of five clothing items.
Each item will deal with feminine archetypes from the Halacha and will reflect a moment of climax of feminine representation in Jewish ceremonies or at the peak of transition between two Halacha statuses:
The bride, the widow, the convert, the “Nida” keeper and the rebel.
Through them, I will try to criticize the place that men designate for women in the Orthodox Jewish society and to give these dramatic moments interpretations, sometimes cynical or grotesque and sometimes interpretation that will “release” the alternative aspirations that free women could feel at this moments.
These interpretations hopefully could evade these pathetic stands and cleanse them of their patriarchal, patronizing and depriving content.
The common denominator to all of the clothing is rebellion using formal religious tools. In other words: garmond that are used in religion are here used to rebel against a subjugation of those elements.